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Showing Questions in 'Marriage Law/Philosophy'

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Question No. 1820
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 19 Dec 2010
The Question I am a Jewish woman who does not know what to do. Married for 40 years, I just found out that my husband gave sperm to a young women invitro and she is going to have twins. We have grown children. I do not know what to do. He says she is a friend only and did not know it would happen since he had a vasectomy 25 years ago. He says it is a miracle and he wants to see the babies and have contact with the children. I am sure I have no ill feelings towards the babies or the woman, but regarding my husband I am confused. What should I do? I still love him. I want to know if this was correct. He says it is life that is most important. —Anonymous, San Francisco
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1819
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 19 Dec 2010
The Question Can a finicky husband demand that certain foods not be brought into the house or be bought with family funds, or demand that she not eat those foods at certain times if it will cause her to be repulsive to him? —Anonymous, Toronto
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1815
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 14 Dec 2010
The Question Hi Rabbi Leff, I have a few questions: 1) Is it permitted for a Jewish man to live with a non-Jewish woman? My brother told me that his rebbi said that it's "technically" permitted, and that it's better to be with a non-Jewish woman than to be with a tamei Jewish woman. Is there anybody that holds that way? Is it "technically allowed" to do that, but it shouldn't be done because it's not in the spirit of Judaism? If that's the case, what the punishment for going against the spirit of Judaism? 2) Can the Rav please give a source for Question 1758, and sources for the answers on all of these questions? Thanks, —Steven Korban, Brookline MA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1805
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 19 Nov 2010
The Question Dear Rabbi Leff,B’H my wife and I have been happily married for 22 years; she is 44 and I am 45.We have been blessed with 6 wonderful healthy children. We are a cohesive, happily frum family.Our last child was born when my wife was 41.Since that time, she has used birth control and has expressed her desire to permanently be on bc do to her age (statistics of downs’ syndrome births).The rav we have consulted has given a blanket heter, stating she is not doing anything wrong according to the Torah.I feel so strongly that we are wasting potential.We are both youthful, loving parents, and have been given the wherewithal to give in this fashion.My wife sometimes hints that maybe she will reconsider.Can the Rav kindly offer perspective here? —Anonymous, Passaic, NJ
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1804
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 19 Nov 2010
The Question Is having relations in the Succah problematic? (assuming it is a private Succah) —Anonymous, Jerusalem
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1787
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 25 Oct 2010
The Question Dear Rabbi Leff, we are aquainted but I would prefer to remain anonomous for now. Here is my question: when I was very young I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome (a mild form of autism)and had to go to special schools because I would not fit in to the mainstream. Afterward I was well ajusted to the rest of society to go to Yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel but still have certain struggles with being in certain social situations. (Family/friends/work ect) I am going to start Shidduchim soon, does she have a right to know this information about me? Or may I/should I keep it a secret? At what point should she be told, if at all? Kol Tuv, a nervous and excited bochur. —Anonymous, Yerushalayim
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1761
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 6 Jul 2010
The Question Is it proper for one spouse to force the other spouse, a baal teshuva, to comply with all the halachic requirements of niddah? —Anonymous, New York
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1758
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 1 Jul 2010
The Question If a man and a woman are not married yet but the woman goes to the mikveh at the proper times are they allowed to touch b'derech chiba? —Anonymous, USA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1755
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 28 Jun 2010
The Question Can a woman who is on birth control pills use them to prevent a period? Would this go against any halachos? Thank you —Anonymous, Lakewood, NJ
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1752
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 23 Jun 2010
The Question If one's grandmother was previously married before she married ones grandfather (who was somewhat orthodox) and your not sure if she received a get from her first husband what is one's status regarding mamzerus? what is the best way to fix the situation and can one assume she received a get? Thank You —Anonymous, America
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1751
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 23 Jun 2010
The Question My husband and my mother don't get along very well, for some reason my mum has said that she feels like she cannot be close to me as long as I am married to my husband. My husband is Jewish, and he is religious. My mother thinks that he has brain washed me to follow his religion. Recently there was a big problem between me and my husband and he said to me that for his honor sake I should not contact her at least for 6 months. He also thinks that my mother is dangerous for his family. Should I honor my husband and do what he asked me to do or should I disobey? What the Judaism teaches? —Sabet, Helsinki
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1737
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 7 Jun 2010
The Question Is it Muttar to use a sexual aid otherwise called a sex toy to increase pleasure for ones female spouse during intercourse. No problems of Hotzoas Zera or the like are a problem. —Anonymous, Manchester
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1728
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 3 Jun 2010
The Question Shalom, is Mizvah of "Shomer Neghiah" not necessary if engagement could be done much time before mariage? Thanks and Bye! —Anonymous, Genoa, Italy
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1713
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 12 Feb 2010
The Question Rav Leff, thank you very much for answering out questions. With reference to question #1686, I simply don't understand-why is it that once a Jewish couple has fulfilled pru urevu, from what it sounded like from your answer, they have to be pretty much at the edge of emotional and financial breakdown in order to get a heter to use birth control-if they've already fulfilled the mitzvah, from a halachic perspective, why would they need a heter in the first place? —chana, NYC
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1711
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 12 Feb 2010
The Question L'Kavod HaRav. What are the Rav's thoughts on a couple limiting the number of children they have because of financial considerations? Specifically, let's take the case where the couple has 3 children (2 boys and a girl) and the family can not afford a fourth yeshiva tuition. —Anonymous, USA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1683
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 14 Sep 2009
The Question Is it true that a women that is divorced and has a Get, can not marry a Kohein or vise-versa? —fbrowd7707, Margate, FL
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1638
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 17 Mar 2009
The Question B'Kavod HaRav, A rebbe in chinuch wants to relocate as his current school has lost money and they are laying him off. His wife does not want to relocate and move two years in a row ending up in a place where she does not know anybody. He would have to leave chinuch and find a new job. What is the appropriate direction to take? —Anonymous, USA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1623
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 4 Mar 2009
The Question If a person was married without city hall (civil marrige) and only had ktuba. The person who conducted the Jewish ceremony without city hall certificate wasn't licensed himself, but advertised himself in a magazine that he does things like bris mila, chupa, etc. So the couple lived together for a year and a half, but ktuba was stolen from kallah about 30-40 days after the marriage. She now has a 3-year-old daugther. There is no proof of marrige, the witnesses of the ceremony were the mashgiyach from the restaurant and the chatan's brother-in-law (both shomer Shabbat). There is no official recording of the wedding ceremony and no ketuba. Does she need a get? —Tamar, Brooklyn, NY
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1612
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 7 Feb 2009
The Question B"H Shalom Rabbi! In base of Halachah (Aschkenaz), after the Chuppa and the Ychud, is it an obligation to dress the Kissui Rosh during the Party of Marriage? Thanks! —Mordechay Hirsch ben David, Italy
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1569
Category Marriage Law/Philosophy
Date Posted 7 Dec 2008
The Question With all due respect to the Rav, I was extremely surprised by the answer you gave regarding showing affection to one's spouse in front of children. The Rav said it is even positive to show affection. I have never, ever, in any chareidi community seen this, even the kind of affection the Rav mentions. As far as I know, in a chareidi community they wouldn't even touch, hand over objects, etc., even when they may. —Anonymous, London, England
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


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