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Showing Questions in 'Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)'

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Question No. 1658
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 13 May 2009
The Question L'kovod HaRav Shlita Is speech therapy considered an area that as a parent one must provide for a child who needs it and if so is it permissible to use maaser money towards it? —Anonymous, California
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1608
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 4 Feb 2009
The Question Does the issur derived from "lo sasuru acharei levavchem ve acharei eineichem" manifest as a prohibiton against one thinking any sexual thoughts (I guess excepting one's spouse) or is it against the act of dwelling on them? I ask because, especially in terms of the education of boys within the "yeshivish" community, it seems that they often do not come to terms with their sexual awareness, rather, immediately percieve it as a shameful perversion, and in their subsequent repression end up rendering their struggle with this issur much more difficult, all because it hadn't been acknowledged as a normal phenomenon to begin with. Is it not permitted to address this issue in discussion with pubescent boys? Why is it so taboo? —Chana, NYC
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1582
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 21 Dec 2008
The Question At what age should one be makpid to have kids wash for challah on Shabbos and not give them challah if they don't wash? —Anonymous, brooklyn, ny
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1578
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 14 Dec 2008
The Question B'Kavod Ha'Rav, I am working in a day school as a Judaic Resource. Two of the students with whom I was learning Mishnayos voluntarily revealed to me that their mothers are not Jewish. Do I have a halachic obligation to stop teaching them Torah Sh'beal Peh? —Anonymous, United States
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1563
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 1 Dec 2008
The Question My wife and I teach at a wonderful yeshiva. We love our jobs and the people who are here. However, hashkafically, there is another school which we feel will be better for our children, where there will not be concerns with TV, movies, peer pressure etc. that we find at this school. We're not trying to make any type of statement, but people will take it as such. Is there any side to say that we should enroll them in the school where we work anyway? We assume there will be fallout from our school over our decision, but hopefully we can still do it and keep our jobs. Our oldest will be 5. Thanks for any input. —Anonymous, Brooklyn
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1559
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 27 Nov 2008
The Question Shalom. Can you please explain to me why Orthodox families have so many children? Oftentimes, there are so many, and time and money is so tight that they are not able to cope, and the children don't get the attention they need. Wouldn't it make more sense to have fewer children but be able to give them the care and time and resources they wouldn't get if there were many more siblings to "compete" with? Thank you. —Anonymous, Fresno, CA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1527
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 9 Sep 2008
The Question Dear Rabbi Leff, While growing up in a large household I was expected to help a lot with raising the children and clearing up the house. When I look back I sometimes resent it that I had to do some of my Mothers share in the work. My oldest child is almost 4 years old. How can I encourage her to help without eventually putting to much of the workload on her, and causing resentment? Thank you in advance. —Anonymous, Israel
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1525
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 2 Sep 2008
The Question My son is turning 3 years old on the 25th of Shvat. I would like him to have his upsherin in Israel on Tu Beshvat. Would it be wrong for me to move his upsherin up 10 days in order to coincide the cutting of his hair with the birthday of the trees, also being the day that the Urlah period ends? If he does have his upsherin on Tu Beshvat, should I still do it in Meron? —Anonymous, brooklyn, new york, USA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1331
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 11 Mar 2007
The Question Kovod Harav, what is the rav's view about hitting a child for chinuch purposes? And if a parent's actions are considered the best lessons for a child's chinuch how does a child learn that hitting is allowed for a parent to do but is not allowed for a child to do? If the child sees that the parent sometimes hits, then the child sees hitting is permissable. —Anonymous, Yerushalayim
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1298
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 7 Feb 2007
The Question Kavod Harav Leff, Shlita, What is the rav's opinion on discussing 'the birds and the bees' with children. I've heard views stating it's incumbent upon parents to initiate such discussion with children as young as nine, and other views that it should not be discussed at all. Kol Tuv —Anonymous, Brooklyn
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1264
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 17 Jul 2006
The Question I was shown recently a halacha in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (by R' Ganzfried), and in siman 164 or 165, seif 16 [or thereabout]; It says that we should not let our children be taught by non-Jewish teachers or by Jewish non-religious teachers -- to prevent our children being affected & influenced by them, and from being steered away from Torah ch"v. As far as I know the vast majority, if not all, of Orthodox schools and yeshivas employ teachers who are either non-Jewish or secular Jews. This seems to be a clear and flagrant violation of halacha. I've heard some try to justify it by saying: The halacha meant private tutoring, but within the framework of a school with a set curriculum, it's ok. But this still does not seem to make it ok, since at the end of the day, children are impressionable and could still come to follow the teacher's ideas and ways. Some quote the Rama that Christians are not Idolators for this halacha, but 1) they are still followers of an anti-Torah religion, and 2) it could be the Rama was forced to say that because he lived in a Christian society and did not want to upset the balance there. Regardless, I'd appreciate if the Rav could address how this halacha is understood and applied, both strictly speaking *mitzad halacha*, and in our situation nowadays. Thank you! —Stephan, Brooklyn, NY
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1250
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 29 May 2006
The Question My 11 year old son is High Functioning Autistic. He has been homeschooled for the last 2 years. I am unable to teach him his hebrew subjects due to a lack of knowledge. We need to know what to do with him as he is extremely bright, and only needs to learn one on one with someone. Should we move to a city with a special needs yeshiva or should we remain and try to find someone here in Lakewood that would be willing to volunteer his time to teaching my son. The Rabbi that has been helping us has suggested that we place him in public school so that he can get benefits, we are completely against this but ask your advice. Thanks —Rachel Nahali, Lakewood, NJ USA
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1192
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 16 Feb 2006
The Question I have a teenage daughter in a Beit Yaakov seminar in Israel. For some reason she has set her heart on becoming a doctor. I would like to ask the Rav if there is any way she could obtain such training in an environment the Rav considers acceptable? And, assuming such an arrangement is not currently possible, since I imagine rabbonim would be in favor of women doctors treating women, would the Rav favor setting up a training college for religious women to study medicine? —Anonymous, Beit Shemesh
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1149
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 12 Dec 2005
The Question In the situation where a nephew is older than his uncle, must the nephew respect his uncle as an 'elder' even though he is a 'younger'? —Yakov R., Matityahu, Israel
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1134
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 26 Nov 2005
The Question If a child, who witnessed an act of vandalism, is asked by an adult to reveal the identity of the perpetrator, must the child answer? Or should the child be taught that this is lashon hara and not to answer? Are the answers to these questions different if it was determined that the act of vandalism caused no actual damage?
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1118
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 10 Nov 2005
The Question Dear Rabbi Leff, I have smart 2 1/2 year old son who is constantly on the go and is exhausting his teachers (in gan) and my husband and I at home. He behaves the best when he decides what to play with and when he should play with it. In gan he behaves beautifully when he's playing with the toys he chooses. The problem arises when the teachers want the class to sit in a circle with the rest of the children during story/music time. He has no patience for that and always leaves the circle. (they cannot let him play on his own because it just disrupts the other children -- if he can play outside the circle, so can they)Bottom line is they still want him to learn how to sit still for minimum of 10 minutes at a time. Is this realistic and if it is are there any relaxing techniques that can be advised? To further explain his character: He is constantly testing his limits and tries to get the most out of every situation. Today I tried to sit with him and read him a book. I chose one that I knew he liked and he tells me no, he wants another one. Fine I gave him the other one -- then we sat down together for about 3 seconds and he pops up. And I told him "No, it's quiet time and fun time on Mommy's lap - and we should read this great book together" He then proceeded to kick and scream and scratch for about 5 minutes. I tried to hold him down firmly (but lovingly)during this period and he finally stopped. Then he sat beautifully on my lap for about 5-10 minutes. Should I continue doing such a practice? Holding him down firmly to show him how he can sit still for a little bit of time every day? Thank you so much for your time and tizku l'mitzvos. —Anonymous
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 1067
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 29 Sep 2005
The Question Dear Rabbi, I am 36 with 2 wonderful children. One of my children has a developmental disability. I am seriously considering having a tubal ligation as my husband and I are sure we want no more children. What would Jewish law say regarding this? —Anonymous, Los Angeles, California
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 981
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 23 Aug 2005
The Question I am an observant father. Is there a special tefilla written which can be said for a wayward son who has turned away from Judaism but not completely? If so, please tell me the complete text of this tefilla. Thank you very much. —Anonymous, Mexico
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 793
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 3 May 2005
The Question I am a new oleh with several children B"H. In the US, my children attended a yeshiva that could be classified as "American Chareidi". I have been told that the Israeli chareidi mentality is different in many ways, one of them being that pursuing education for a career beyond high school is discouraged in Israeli chareidi circles. I worry that I am closing potential options for my children by raising them in such an atmosphere. I have been told that there is no "American chareidi" equivalent in Israel. My oldest child is a few years away from high school, but I worry for him already. I would appreciate any insights you could enlighten me with on this issue. —Anonymous, Israel
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


Question No. 755
Category Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted 7 Apr 2005
The Question I am interested in what Jewish Law has to say concerning adoption, and if there are any ancient jewish law that supports adoption. —Andreia Haddad, Fairfax, Oklahoma
The Answer Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.


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