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Questions answered to date: 1989

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Showing Questions in 'Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)'

Question No.	2080
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	7 Dec 2013
The Question	Dear Rabbi Leff, why is it that day schools require children to read secular fictional novels? I am speaking about Yeshivishe Day Schools. It seems that just as our children should not watch Goyishe television even if it is "kosher" that they shouldn't read Goyishe novels even if they were looked through and deemed to be "kosher." —Anonymous, Chicago
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2076
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	20 Nov 2013
The Question	Kevod HaRav I have a 22 year old daughter who is not properly frum and does not dress tzanua. We have had a long history with her, with me starting of Baalah Tshuva and being to strict on her and we had a very difficult relationship and only after getting counceling and changing how i interacted with her we found our way back, she struggles with self confidence even though she is very pretty but she does not feel it. Now she has left home to work and when she comes home for shabbos which she does every week we have finally asked her to come home properly dressed, we told her we love her very much but now that she is no longer living at home this is now a requiremente, would you agree with how we have dealt with this? Please help —Anonymous, israel
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2072
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	5 Nov 2013
The Question	Re - Yosef Drachman (aged 5, developmentally delayed) On Shabbos I took my son out to play at a local park, when we got there he saw another boy with a ball sitting on the grass and my son asked him if he could play ball with him! The other boy didn’t want to play, but said that my son could play with his ball. My son asked me to play with him. I understood that it is not best for adults to play ball, but maybe there is room to be makel in this case? Is kicking (shinui) better than handling the ball? —Ephraim, Har Nof
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2071
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	5 Nov 2013
The Question	Re - Yosef Drachman (aged 5, developmentally delayed) In circle time at Gan Petachaya, my 5 year old son chews on his tzizits and they claim that because he does that, that he doesn�t concentrate and therefore they remove them for the rest of the day (until 14:30 when he comes home), and then we put on him. Since he is only obligated to wear tzizits when he wears a four cornered garment, should they be makel with him, or should we suggest that the Gan puts the tzizits back on him after circle time? —Ephraim, Har Nof
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2059
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	11 Aug 2013
The Question	We have three girls, oldest age 6. Our kids wake up early in the morning and come in to our beds when they wake up. I feel a bit uncomfortable with my oldest going to my husband's bed as I feel she is getting bigger. I wanted to know what the Rav feels in terms of if it is appropriate for my daughters to go to my husband's bed in the morning. Is there any problem halachicly or hashkaficly? Thank you —Mother of girls, Israel
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2057
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	2 Aug 2013
The Question	Bkavod Rav, How can we reconcile the Ashkenazik minhag for unmarried men not to wear a tallis with the Gemara that says when do we start chinuch of tzitzis with a child - when he knows how to do atifa - and clearly one only does atifa with a tallis gadol. —Daniel H, Jerusalem
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2055
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	25 Jul 2013
The Question	If you could change the yeshiva education system, how would you? Thank you —Anonymous, Cleveland, Ohio
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2032
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	17 Mar 2013
The Question	Kavod HaRav, I am desperate for chizuk on my situation with my children. We are a shomer mitzvot family and as parents we feel we did the best in raising our 5 children with the tools we had. Things have not turned out so good. Our eldest a girl 21 (Not Frum)next a boy of 20 also not frum,, and middle son also not frum, two remaining girls one is 16 and thank g-d is doing ok and next daughter is only 11 and im not sure how she will be as she looks up to her older sister and the influence is great, the boys dont go to shul on shabbos and their father goes on his own which is very sad for him, How can we help ourselves to move on and realise there is not much we can do except be an example to them, and except and love them,but pain is great. —Anonymous, isreal
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2015
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	15 Jan 2013
The Question	I have a 9 month old baby boy. I nurse him a lot and we co-sleep. I read a lot about responsive parenting and that's what I try to do. My question is the following: what does Judaism say about co-sleeping vs. putting a baby in a crib especially in their own room? I don't know when to make this change and it's either he sleeps next to me all night and I nurse him back to sleep every time he wakes up or that I let him cry it out in his own crib. Nothing else seems to work with my baby. And I love co-sleeping but it might be getting in the way of my husband and I. Please help! —Anonymous, New York
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	2000
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	2 Dec 2012
The Question	Kavod haRav, My son is almost of the derech. He is currently not in any learning. We are continuing to show love, support, acceptance and keep the lines of comunication open. We live on a religious mauchav and the school of the area is questioning if to take him back or not. We are in touch with a very good (not frum) social worker (not our choice). She is not anti-frum but she is suggestiong a non-nreligious school for our son as he has ADHD. What should we do? —Anonymous, Israel
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1979
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	26 Mar 2012
The Question	May an 18 year old daughter disobey her mother, go to a dorm seminary in another state, (maximum 4 hours away from home),knowing that her mother is ill. Ill means a diabetic with recent elective back surgery. At this point the mother has a home attendant, and it just doesn't seem right for a parent to give a guilt trip for the child not to go. Especially since the daughter needs to learn how to be an adult and make decisions on her own. There are shalom bayis issues between the parents, it just doesn't seem fair that a child has to be the mender of the situation, and made obligated to stay in her home town. Thank you. —Anonymous, New York
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1967
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	14 Mar 2012
The Question	I once heard a chassidic rebbe describe the difference between the Lithuanian and chassidic approach to education. He said the Lithuanian approach is to put all efforts into producing the next "Gadol HaDor" and if 1,000 boys have to be "lost" for one Godol Hador to be produced, it is a price we must pay. He then asked rhetorically, who wants their son to be one of the "cannon fodder? He said that the chassidic system does not aim to produce the next leader - this is going to be the son or son-in-law of the rebbe, but to bring out each student's indiviudal potential. I know there is a Chazal that says words to the effect of a thousand go into (yeshiva) and only one emerges (godol). I would like to hear the Rav's opinion. —Shimon, Bet Shemesh
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1912
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	23 Aug 2011
The Question	It seems that the Torah Hashkafa for family life is that the woman is the one primarily responsible for needs that come up in the home (raising children, cooking etc.). What is the father's involvement in of all of this? If this question is not appropriate to answer Al Regel Achas, what are some sources that can help to clarify the issue. —Anonymous, New York
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1908
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	23 Aug 2011
The Question	My three year old daughter has recently been teasing and hurting my 8 month old baby. She'll just go up to her and push her down or hit her for no reason. The baby is not playing with her toys or touching her things. I give her loads of attention and love, yet she still bothers her for no apparent reason. I've tried ignoring it by just picking up my baby. It seems like she does not respond to positive or negative reinforcement. How should I react and how do I protect my baby? Thank you —Anonymous, Lakewood, NJ
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1844
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	30 Jan 2011
The Question	How can I go about teaching my child that the.. "I want this now - the urgency of getting what he wants right away!" is not a healthy trait? What is the best response when such a situation arises? (what makes this harder is the fact that I would love to give him what he wants right away... but I know this is not theright thing) —Anonymous, Brooklyn, NY
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1835
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	13 Jan 2011
The Question	Is it proper to let our 8 month old boy to cry or always pick him up when he cries? How do we not spoil him but also make sure he stays emotionally stable? —Anonymous, Chicago, IL
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1782
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	14 Sep 2010
The Question	I heard that Rav Avigdor Miller zt"l placed a great emphasis on speaking only Yiddish at home, i.e. as opposed to English. This would serve as a protective measure against outside influences. Neither my wife and I come from Yiddish-speaking families and this language is quite strange to us. Does the Rav attach any importance to learning Yiddish and making it the language of the home, or is English also fine? I would also be interested to know (if the Rav feels it appropriate to ask) whether the Rav personally makes a point of only speaking Yiddish with his family? —Shimon Frais, Bet Shemesh
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1725
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	1 Jun 2010
The Question	If a boy is brought up (and actually adopted)by parents other than his own, but, his own parents are living, is it proper to call him up to the Torah as the son of his adoptive father? He was removed from his natural parents against their will and they are very hurt by this and on his bar mitzva he was called up to the Torah as son of his non-biological father. I believe that this is wrong. Is it? (He knows he has other parents) —C.K., Lakewood, NJ
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1714
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	15 Feb 2010
The Question	B'Kovod HaRav: While I realize that each case can best be answered on an individual basis, what is your opinion on husbands/fathers living away from their homes in order to make a parnasah, ie. coming home 1 shabbos/month (and moving the family to the job location is not an option). There seem to be equally strong (and confusing) arguments to make for the obligation of fulfilling their role as husband and father as there is for providing money for food and tuition, particularily while jobs are scarce. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my question. Respectfully, a wife and mother. —Anonymous, The South, USA
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

Question No.	1681
Category	Chinuch (Educating/Raising Children)
Date Posted	8 Jul 2009
The Question	Our daughter is eleven years old. Should she fast the minor fasts? Should she fast on Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur? If she does need to fast, is it only part of the day? Thank you. —Mordechai, Ramat Beit Shemesh
The Answer	Click here to listen to Rabbi Leff's answer.

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